Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Training Has Begun

It's taken me awhile to finally start getting back into shape. I know I have to be in tip top condition for the military and I've been putting it off for some time. But it's always better late than never. I ran a 5K in 30 mins. today and it's been about 2 months since I last ran. I have to admit that it hurt the first mile, but I stopped worrying about the pain and just plugged on. I'm going to be one hurting pup in the morning, but it's going to be well worth it in the end. With a little help from Mapmyrun.com to log my workouts along with help from my friends I'll be able to come out on top. Here's to a better me and a better future. More running and hopefully doing some Zumba tomorrow as well.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Virtute Alisque (On wings with Courage)

Virtute Alisque (On wings with Courage)

I feel like I should hate you just as much as I did everyone else,
but I can't bring myself to do so.
I've made myself sick, literally,
trying to forget you and the pain,
and yet I can't seem to shake you.
You are a poison within my blood,
a drug more potent than love,
burning me alive.
We’re bad for each other,
yet good for no one else.
I’ll never be good enough to be someone’s someone
as long as the heat within me continues to engulf all common sense and reason,
wringing love from my fettered heart.
Ease the pain, and let me let go.
Stop coming back to me looking for more
when I have nothing more to give. I gave you my heart, body and soul,
but that wasn’t good enough for you.
You didn’t trust me the way that I trusted you.
You didn’t believe in me the way that I needed you to,
the way you said you did.
Everything was a lie. And I believed you.
I want to hate you, but in reality,
I still miss you, I still love you, and I still need you.
I need to let you go, I need to be set free, but most of all
I need you to let me be.

I’m tired of holding on, knowing I’m second best.
I know things haven't always been the greatest,
but I do know that things are looking up.
You might have put me down,
but I have the courage, the strength, and the will power
to get back up and fight on.
Life is good. Virtute Alisque.
On wings with courage I will fly higher than I’ve ever imagined.
I have the strength and will power of a proud woman
and I will fight. Fight the poison and the pain,
forgive the lies and forget the hate.
It’s because of you that I am this way.
You are forgiven but not forgotten.
I’ve been fractured but never broken.

Felicia M. Weitoish  9/15/12

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Sorry it's been awhile... rant.

Sorry it's been awhile since being on here. I've had a lot going on with work, playing psychiatrist to more than one friend, and talking to recruiters. I'm just about fed up with the recruiter I've been talking to for the Air Force. I first contacted him on the 18th of July and hadn't heard from him or received any of the e-mails he said he was going to send me. So I called him up a month later to see if I could come in and talk to him. He didn't answer his cell phone. So I left a message to have him call me back. Three days later and I still haven't heard from him. I call him up again while on my way to work and he picks up. I asked if there was a possibility that I could come into the office the next day to ask some questions and talk to him. He said that his actual office is in Newark and that he'd be there all week. He asked me for all the information I gave him the first time I called him and the day that we met in the Park City Offices. Name, Age, Height, Weight, Phone number, E-mail address, GPA, What's my degree in and then he asked me if I wanted to enlist or be commission. ... Well when we first spoke you told me that if I wanted to be an officer to continue to talk to you since there were only two recruiters in this office one for enlisting, which was the other guy, or you, the officer's recruiter. That being said, and in my head, I told him commission. He asked what jobs I was looking into. I told him, again, Special Investigations or Intelligence. He then proceeded to tell me that with my GPA I could only be a Pilot. Really? You couldn't have just said that from the beginning instead of asking me what I wanted to do? And this whole time the tone of his voice was very dismissive. As if he had other, more important things to do. He then told me that he'd e-mail me the information I'd need for the AFQOT's. I said okay that I'd be looking for them when I got home from work and that I had to go because I was walking into work. Came home from work and there's no e-mail. It's now been two weeks since I last spoke with him and once again I don't have an e-mail from him, nor have I heard from him. So I'm looking into other branches and looking for another recruiter to speak to from the Air Force. Harrisburg is the next closest so on my next day off that's where I'm headed. I'll kill two birds with one stone. I'll talk to the Air Force guy and then walk int the Coast Guard's office and talk to them. And if I have enough time left on my way home I'll stop in at the Park City offices and walk into the Navy's office. I'm done pussy footing around. It doesn't help that I was talking to my one friend who just finished with his Air Force training last night and he told me that with my GPA I can't be an officer. The only way that I can is if I have good recommendations and I score high on the AFQOT and can prove to the them that I have what it takes to be a leader. So I'm going to study till I'm blue in the face to pass this test with flying colors.
As for work, both jobs are cutting back my hours, which isn't good. I'm not a huge fan of driving 30min to come into work to only work for three hours. It's a good thing that I have two jobs and that they're in the same building. Because working three hours at one place and then having to drive to another place to work five hours just wouldn't cut it.