Monday, December 10, 2012

Not Good At This

These past three months have been full of ups and downs. Not knowing where my life is going and who's going to be by my side through it all. I lost my best friend because of differences back in October. I don't agree with her choice of things she's been doing and the people she's hanging out with. I tested for my ASVAB test on Halloween and passed, but just barely, for the Air Force. I spent all my free time in November studying to do better for the next test, which I took on the 5th of December. I passed again, but this time with a wonderful score that opened the job field up to me.

These past three months have been hard. I missed him more and more each day that he was overseas, but I feel like he didn't really miss me. He's home now, thank God. I made him a promise, but I couldn't keep it. We're no longer together, and even though we talk from time to time and he says that he loves me still, I couldn't get off of work to welcome him home. It kills me to know that I broke that promise to him. He says he wants to come visit, but I don't know if he will or not. There will always be that special spot in my heart for him.

A Broken Vow

I've broken a promise this day.
You asked me to promise that I
would be there, with a smile,
a hug and kiss for the one I love.
For the one I miss.
I promised to be there when you came home.
To be there when you got off that bus.
To be the first person you laid eyes on again...
after seven long months.
My heart is heavy for I long to be with you.
To be there standing out in the cold waiting for you.
Waiting to feel your arms embrace me, your lips meeting mine.
But I am here and not there because you are no longer mine.
I loved you then. I love you still, and I know that I forever will.
You let me go, no reason why. You broke my heart and for a month I cried.
I missed you then, when you left my side,
boarding that plane with a tear in our eyes.
I missed you then and often wondered and worried.
I miss you now, and you need to know,
I never meant to break that vow.

~ Felicia M. Weitoish 12/8/12